Sunday, April 20, 2014

The Liebster Award

Thank you Tara for the nomination! I am so happy you thought of me. The link to Tara's questions and answers:

  Here are my questions and answers:

1.How often do you blog and why did you start? Not often enough since it took me six days to answer! I started at the very end of May 2012.

2. Are there any blogs you follow regularly outside of your preferred writing genre? If so, what makes them appeal to you? Yes. I actually started with domestic discipline blogs and fell into the spanking community. I still love reading these type of blogs but my time is so limited lately.

3. What was the first full book you ever wrote? I don't understand this question. The first novella I released which would be considered "full" is Marked by the Alpha 

4. What prompted you to start writing? Also a hard question. I started writing fiction when I was in second grade. It has been my passion since then so I guess life prompted me to stop writing... school, homework, college, kids.....

5. Is there any one book that you’ve read over and over? If so what was it? Doctors by Eric Segal. I love the incredible friendship Barry and Laura have over their life and all the medical context made me happy.

6. Aside from writing, what is your favourite pastime? Writing. No really. I go to my nine to five, play with my kids, cook, bake, clean and write. Okay, reading.

7. What is your proudest achievement, either in writing or in life? Becoming a published author. It was my dream forever.

8 What do you most want to achieve in life? Have you already achieved it or are you actively working on it? I constantly re-set this as I meet my goals. I'm bad at setting them so I adjust the bar with my situations.

9. If you had the opportunity to meet one person you really admire, who would it be, and what would you want to ask them? This question does not say living or dead so I will take creative license. Louisa May Alcott and I would ask how she followed her passion even when criticized.

10. What makes you happiest? My kids.

11. If you could pick anywhere in the world, where would you go? Wherever my friends and family are. They are more important then the place we are living.

11 Random Facts you may not know:

I am a huge procrastinator. I do not purposely put things off but I have a tendency to get overwhelmed easily.

I am moderately active in my local BDSM community. I am learning more and more that outside perceptions of a real community is not even close. I have met some of the most amazing people.

I am not confrontational at all when it comes to me. It makes me seem really easy going but sometimes I just lack the resolve to do something about a situation.

Funny thing, I am completely confrontational when a situation involves my family or close friends. I am like a mamma bear so watch out!

Sometimes I cry over "so and so has talent" videos. Especially the ones with younger kids singing. I get moved by music.

I don't watch the news. I don't keep up on world events. I am super sensitive so I just let them go on without knowing. I can't handle all the bad things going on in the world.

I cannot think of another four facts at the moment so this one is stuck towards the middle.

I frequently loop songs when I am writing. It drives everyone else mad.

I love being outdoors but all too often I am glued to the computer.

 I keep counting the facts above and wondering if you have made it this far.

I am a total goof ball and I will do zany and silly things to make you laugh.

I am not nominating other blogs because I am SO late with this post however I love feedback. 

My one question: What is your ideal setup in a story to READ or WRITE?

Happy Easter!

<3 Addy

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Spanking Romance: After Care

Round Table Discussions

Thanks Renee Rose for choosing such a great topic!

Aftercare to me is vital in any sort of BDSM scene where the bottom or the one who is experiencing the play hits what many call "subspace."  I know there are by the book definitions out there but to me it is a HUGE release of endorphin, stress, and a content euphoria. 

To give a small example I recently got involved in the local BDSM community and after an intense spanking scene, yes, I actually love and live what I write, I hit the sweet spot. The gentleman who topped me talked me through the scene and kept checking on my awareness throughout. Before I got "high" the last thing I heard him ask was, "Are you still with me?"  I mumbled something close to 'yes' and he replied, "You won't be for long."

True to the above statement I hit an incredible place. The next thing I remember I was curled up on his girlfriend's lap sobbing. She was running her hands through my hair and he was feeding me cookies and water while someone else had gotten blankets to wrap around me.

Now, the above scene may not sound hot while you are deeply involved in a story but any book I read that has the bottom/sub/slave/ect reach his/her happy place then jump up and be involved in something else is quite frankly bull shit.

I did not know it before but now I want to read some mention of it. The Dom/Top/Master/Alpha what-have-you should at least acknowledge some sort of aftercare. If you gloss over it and say something along the lines of, "Master Kingston held Polly close to him and offered comforting words and cuddles as she came down from her rush." Ect, ect, ect...

If you want to skip over it then have the scene end with the high and go to the next chapter. Honestly. I do not believe from what I have personally experienced over the last few months that someone can reach the level I am referring to and not need anything.

I have seen it is different for each person and the care should be talked about prior. If for example you know you need blankets and chocolate (a wonderful invention that tastes like heaven when you are flying and can help with low blood sugar though varies from person to person) then you need to let your top know this.

It is my belief you should talk about this with your top so you both ensure good care. Going back to my example I had played previously and had hit a mild level and needed to be tended to but it was not realized at the time. It was no one's fault and it taught me to understand I will probably need a good amount to get back on my feet.

For me it is very important that the top is the one taking care of me. This shows he/she is tuned in to your needs and is not passing you off to play more.

*Please note some tops also need after care*

I have yet to top in my community but I imagine after you are confident the bottom is handled and he/she assures you of such that you personally will need someone to help you. I cannot offer more but it is something I am looking to research.

I do have questions - You didn't know this was Q&A did you?

Have you ever topped? (In a dungeon setting, bedroom, playroom, ect) 
           If so: Did you need aftercare? Did you receive it?

Have you ever needed care and not received it? What did you do?

The very first time I played in my community I did not get any care at all. I had experienced fire play (very soothing) and though the rush was not as intense as I thought it would be I needed serious cuddles and blankets afterwards. I did have amazing friends to do this for me but it should not fall on others as they may not know what you need/want/crave.

Overall this is a fascinating topic for me as I only recently learned about it and I hope to learn more. I have a few very BDSM type of ideas for novels floating around and I want my stories to be sexy and accurate!

Be sure to check out all of the Round Table Participants.